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Heidi - Emailed us to say that she qualifies to be a groupie simply because she is sleeping with a quarter of the band! That's right, she loves "Angus" and we 'aint talkin' Burger King here! She is a keen scout leader with exceptional navigation and mountaineering skills - two assets when climbing aboard our guitar player! Heidi loves to fine tune Harley's G-Strings!

Shirl - She's Wayne's Biatch! As a housewife, she spends most of her time washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning. Shirl's not a biker but rides Wayne at every possible opportunity. On practice nights, she excels in her tea making for us boys and as a mother of four, we appreciate a lot of sacrifice and juggling around. That in itself, earns her a place on our heroes page!

Kerry - AKA Mrs Beanz and a bit of a loon! - Must be to marry a short fat hairy ginger sumo wrestler. Shirls best mate and the other member of the A32's, she loves to make up and act out funky dances for the stage to get people in the mood. She also tends to Andy's make-up and sells our stuff for charity. Both Beanz & Kerry were happy for years and then they met!

Linda - Neil's love and full time carer! Linda doesn't make it to many gigs due to work commitments and being a dedicated grandmother. When she's not working or entertaining her grand children, Linda spends her time maintaining Neil's century old rock 'n' roll lifestyle and mobility scooter. Hopefully soon, we'll get to see more of Linda!

Alesia - Andy's got a good one there! We all love Alesia to bits, definately one of the family and even gets up now and again for a sing song with our girls. Loves to have a good time with her best mate "House Vodka" and they can often be seen together on the dance floor. Like Andy, Alesia has her own business but dedicates her spare time to the outrageous debatchelorisation of Andy's pad!

The Band WAGS!

The Band Heroes

Kenny! - Well what can we say about our Ken? A good long standing friend of our bass player Neil, Kenny found himself completely hooked after seeing us! Due to his consistent attendance and that he likes to get involved, we've nominated him our "Roadie" and he works hard alongside Wayne assisting with the setting-up, testing and breaking down of the gear! Ken is the only batchelor left in the band so come on ladies................... show yourselves!

Chaz - There must be something about bass players and beards!

During Jock's short term absence, Chaz stepped in at very short notice and did a fantastic job filling in. Since that first gig he did to help us out, he has made numerous guest appearances and enjoys playing with us. The feeling is 100% mutual! Chaz plays for another band, The Rizlas, and we were most appreciative for his lending! Chaz, you're a star and we enjoyed every minute!

DeeJay Si - Simon helps us with our outside gigs by providing all the additional equipment such as speakers and lighting etc.

He has also stepped in on the desk a few times when he's been free from his busy Disco schedule.

He's the quiet, shy type and is used to his mum being "facebooked!" Need a disco doin'? - Si's ya man! Check out his website from our associated Links page.

"Beep Beep" Richie Bolton was orgionally going to appear on here as a groupie, but we felt he deserved a place on the "Hero" section. Since the first gig where we met him, Richie was full of praise and has followed us around ever since.

Not only is he our number one fan, he goes out of his way to promote us around the pubs of Portsmouth.

Richie is also one of the few who sports a Kneeslider t-shirt and wears it with pride. Definately a hero!

The Band Groupies

Gayvid - The cockney Drag Queen. He got booted off the "Only Way Is Essex set for being too "Essexy dumb blonde" for the program. A biker with lots to say. He's not really gay but is as camp as a bottle of chicory coffee! Likes to ride out with the others on his GSXR 1000. Really nice guy who talks as fast as he rides. He's a big lad, so just agree with what he says whether you understand his lingo or not. He'll bitch slap you if you don't!

Sam - She learned from an early age that sniffing hairspray was bad for you, so she goes for the healthier option of eating VO5 styling mousse instead! Another "girlie" biker and valued member of the Kneeslider community, she bollocked us for not having her on here despite having attended just as many gigs as her camp friend Gayvid. There you go Sam, you're on here now and we love you, but that doesn't mean you can make a habit of rolling round drunk.

Big John  - Husband to the formentioned Mazza, John is a big man with a big heart. He's got a good head on his shoulders - he has no neck! Yet another biker who enjoys coming to support us and we love to see him. Quite often, you can see him standing up taking arial photo's of our gigs! When he's not out riding he does all the housework for his hard working wife. Aaaaww! (By the way, that was a joke! - Mazza really would kill us if we let you beleive that!)

Mazza - One of the lovliest ladies you could ever wish to meet and an avid follower. A hard working mum of two boys (three if you include her husband) she makes a real effort driving from Winchester to support us regularly. Origionally, we thought she was a stalker out to kill us, but she just loves the genre of music we play, and the company we bring. We love her loads 'cause she gives us big hugs everytime! Watch her though, she'll escape to the dance +floor like a madwoman!

Big Stu - Personal enduro coach to Wayne and Dave, he gives lots of good advice but we're sure there's a bit of favouritism as Wayne is streets ahead! Another big lovable guy and a full time surgeon which is handy to know if you have a problem with your twigs! A late starter to our community but rarely misses a gig these days. A very funny guy who always manages to cause a stir. Just don't cut him up - he's renown for road rage on a whole new level - protect your chest hair!

Russ - The man who knows how to put on a rubber and the best in his field! No he's not a male escort or contraception expert, he's Portsmouth's most popular tyre fitter. Loved by bikers, he can tell the men from the boys just by looking at tread wear and by his own admission, some of the lady bikers have bigger balls! Russ is the only groupie so far to sport a branded t-shirt of his favourite band! Way to go Russ! - If you need tyres for your bike or car, visit www.russtyres.com. Speak to any of the band community for a reference!

Pauline - The lovely partner of the forementioned "rubber man", Pauline is rarely allowed out on her day release licence and makes up for it big stylee when out of an evening. A party animal who loves to get up on stage and join in the fun. If there's a spare microphone, she'll grab it and put Beanz to shame with her vodka induced vocals and sexy little dances. Even when the band feels that a gig hasn't gone so well, she'll big us up to the end and raises morale with her compliments and witty banter!

Rupert & Rich - the lovely local ginger couple. We wouldn't dare list them seperately. Society has to accept them as a package apparantly! Both bikers riding KTM Superdukes. Their initials say it all (R&R) - just what the doctor ordered after Rich returns home from sea to find Rupert has been hard at work in the gardens. Which one wears the trousers we ask ourselves? Seriously, despite the hair colour, they are a great couple to be around. Charming, funny and charismatic, you'd never believe it!

Dian with one 'n' and no 'e' - Probably the poshest bird within the groupies. Well spoken, well dressed and with a good sense of humour. But don't let that lure you into a false sense of security - she's really a fiesty little minx that can give 'better' than she gets!. Ever seen Kill Bill? She hasn't got the nickname "The Bride" for nothing. A real genuine and loveable lady who will do anything for anyone, but whatever you do, don't cross her. You're likely to lose your head. Don't believe me? Just shorten her name to Di and see what happens!

Simon - Suave, sophisticated, intelligent, drives and rides really fast, gadget freak - Simon once got offered the part of James Bond but turned it down as he refused to drink Martini! His fave is G&T! A walking encyclopedia of music and origional punk rocker, he has more cd's than Radio One! Simon was a member of Kneeslider briefly but never performed with us live. We're ever hopeful but he prefers to get pissed! Just to impress, he's got a bionic arm. Bet that gadget didn't come with a remote did it mush, eh eh?

Clumpy - Is a whizz with electrics. He is a biker and was the site daddy for the Portsdown Hill Bikers chat forum. Loves to buzz around on his motor but since becoming married and spawning a mini Clumpy, his schedule is pretty tied up. He hates the word "bizarre" and fish makes him feel sick! A bit of a joker, you could very well end up peeing your pants in his company!

Crash - aka Andy - Master Blinger and Destroyer of motorcycles! Another one that can deliver a story quicker than he can ride his KTM RC8. If it's happened to you, it's happened to him ten times worse with a bit of a twist. We can't wait to read this man's autobiography. It's not to be missed and can be summed up in one word - "SHMACK!"

Crazy L - He's a wild card. Do not approach him unless you share the same drunken mental state. Probably the most sarcastic fella you're ever likely to meet, he's the one staggering around falling into everyone and being loud. When he's sober enough, he likes to take his Thunderace for a blat on the back roads and races RC cars.

Dil aka tourettesf****nrules - Another wild one with a vast experience of gig attendance, and an amazing ability to shout "More" very loudly! If fed with 2 pints of strongbow, she'll dance like a crazy fool all night, and promises to stalk us at every opporunity. She rides an R1 and can eat a whole Clumpy....... a Moody Crash just doesn't satisfy!

Jax - Another fellow biker who rides a purple glittery Ducati Monster. She percieves herself as a real life "Jessica Rabbit" only considerably shorter! When she's not working as a dedicated mother and housewife, she's tanking it up on the shorts and keeping the "moshers" at bay with her pitbull tendancies! Hates being looked down to, especially by Dwarfs!

Donk - Unless you want this face one inch from yours, don't cause any trouble! When he's not late due to falling asleep in his motor, he sometimes helps to transport all of the equipment from the van to the set. If ever you see a V8 Range Rover in your rear view mirror, MOVE! - You are likely to get stuffed up the arse!

The loveable giant with a heart of gold. Buy him a drink and he;ll be your guardian for life.

Andy aka "tracksuit boy"

With an unusual dress code for a biker, Andy is responsible for some of the great pictures and video clips on this website. As the chief quality control tester for Ann Summers inflatable deparment. he will chat about nothing to anybody. He's great and we approached Tonka toys to see if we could market him. We believe every family should have a "Tracksuit Boy" of their own!

Rats - aka Rachael - Just back from the states filming her new movie "Dead Afternoon" she has just successfully popped out her second child. Who said zombies couldn't fornicate? Now tamed, and probably the only 'undead' left to roam since the banning of guns in the UK, she is a nice girl but don't piss her off 'cause she'll tear you apart and eat your brains for breakfast! We're pretty sure we're next for publishing this!

Smandy - Often mistaken for her spud like brother in drag, she is Beanz sister. We can't stress enough that they are not identical twins and she is likely to bottle you if you so much as think it!  This married, working mother of two is a party animal when she's on the sauce so watch out! Used to fight with her brother true sibling style but then marriage overcame her. She now beats the shit out of Warren instead!

Warren - The bravest man on the planet for becoming Smandy's biatch! Standing more than 6ft 6in with a deep and bellowing voice he is considered conclusive evidence that the Susquatch really exists. It's nice to know that if ever Jock can't perform, Warren can step in and play bass vocally! Another guy that likes a drink or 10. Tell him whatever you like - he won't remember. Loves to pluck Harleys G-Sring during "Gaybar"

Nanny & Grandpappy Beanz - are proud of their little soldier for getting up to perform. Nanny loves to jig around and sing along to the oldies whereas the miserable old coot sits in the corner with his hearing aids switched off (until such time as we cover the likes of Anthony Newly and Matt Munro anyway). Grandpappy loves his ponds whereas Nanny likes to cook and spend time with the grandchildren.

Big Daz (Hoss) - Says he qualifies to be a groupie because his belly is as big as Harley's and Beanz! We're assuming he means both put together! Daz works for, and rides all styles of BMW, and kneesliders were invented because of this guy. Yes we're named after an object he wears out on a regular basis! Don't let these gay looks fool you, he's a bit of an animal, on the saddle and off!

The term "groupie" is described in the dictionary as "a person who is an ardent admirer of rock musicians and may follow them on tour."

Now, we're not expecting you to cry, scream, pass out, expose bodily parts or throw your underpants at us (although clapping and whistling is appreciated!), nor do we limit "groupies" to teenage girls. "Groupies" of the 21st century are all types of people who follow and support their local band in many more ways than one. "Groupies" are an important part of a bands persona and we all need 'em!

If you'd like to join the other unique characters featured, simply email us a little about yourself to info@kneeslider.net and we'll do the rest.

Beanz, Harley, Andy, Neil & Wayne are always greatly appreciative of you  support!

DJ Derek Pearce first met Kneeslider at our Colonial Bar debut in 2010. Knowing we were infants on the pub circuit he made us feel at ease and biggedd us up big time. Since then, our relationship has blossomed and Del can often be seen on stage with us singing along to the likes of "Parklife". We feel honoured that after all the bands he's worked with over the years, he finds the time to come and support us!

Mrs DJ Del - Julie

Absolutely fantastic lady who accompanies her husband to our gigs. To think that Del Boy stepped back from the pub scene to spend more time with his lady, yet they both come to see us play whenever we are at the Colonial!

We feel truly honoured and she always seems to enjoy herself when we perform. Full of nice compliments and hugs, she's another one that always makes us feel welcome.

DJ Del's Nipper - Jo

What can we say about this truly polite and talented young man. Whilst others his age are lingering on street corners with hoodies and booze, Joe is studying hard for a musical qualification at college. He can play any instrument you care to throw at him and even drummed for us at our Birthday bash in the summer of 2011. A truly wonderful young man and a credit to his parents.

Andy Gray

Guitarist from the recently disbanded Cessna's covers band, Andy played bass for Kneeslider once and did a grand job. Apparantly, even with new double glazing, he can hear our music playing in his house when we're gigging his local!

Freckleton 2 - Geoff

Brother of Llew and also an avid biker. Geoff has been to just as many gigs as his brother, but that might have something to do with the fact that he normally drives. We have yet to see him dance! We've heard he is a bit of a mover!

Sophie Tee

Lovely girl that just can't seem to accept that her iphone is crap! Good friends with Mrs Beanz, Sophie has made quite a few appearances now and we love to wind her up! It's her own fault though, if she had just pulled out an HTC from her handbag instead!

Darren Lewis

Leader singer for local covers band The Paparazzi, Darren is not only good friends with Kneeslider, he is one of Beanz's heroes! As a veteran on the local pub circuit, he is "inspirational" and can be seen supporting us when gig dates don't clash! - Love You Daz!

Murph Davies

Guitarist for The Paparazzi, Murph also comes to support us when he's not gigging himself. Such a different bloke when he's in front of the stage and not on it! He's a great laugh and gets up to sing "Hurry Up Harry" for us as it should be. (After a beer or two1)

Jonathon "Handsome Man" Mackay stepped in on the bass when Jock left us for the second time. Formally the bass player for the Cessna's, we robbed him after a combined charity gig in th 2011. If it wasn't for this man, we wouldn't have made it through the summer as usual "fill-in" bassist Chaz had a full diary. Jon perfromed six gigs with us and learnt our set at short notice. He will always be a hero in our eyes and we are forever grateful. He is however, now soiled!

Freckleton 1 - LLew

Biker mad Llew has been to loads of gigs now and knew the band before they were famous! Many a late night spent on Portsdown hill with this one! He and his home built machine were once featured in "Street Fighters" magazine.

Robbie Wilkes

Yet another former member of the Cessna's, Robbie is a drummer and a bit of a loon! Whenever he comes to gigs, he encourages Andy to beat the crap out of his kit, just so that he can see the rest of the band shit themslves live on stage!

Tanya Ware

Tanya gave us our first ever gig as a public band. Former landlady of the Brewers Arms, she gave a group of 4 nobody's the chance to shine and supported us 100%. Who knows, if it wasn't for her, we may not be as popular as we are today!-Thanks Tan x

Lance Husband

Yes that is his real name and his gig attendance is growing by the month! All of the band have admitted, if they were that way inclined, they would all have a go! Damn he's fit, so come on ladies... what ya waiting for? He is the bands eye candy!

Emma Holland

Emma has definately earnt her place on our Groupie page. She's been to loads of gigs now and can always be seen singing along and jigging about to our music. She also goes out of her way to help shift the gear around too! Cheers Emms xx

Marie Cartland

WARNING - Do not approach this woman! Whilst she has 100% earned her place on this page she is dangerous! Despite requiring 24 hour supervision, Marie can be seen at nearly every single Kneeslider gig aswell as the homes of its members. A genuine stalker who is wanted by the police for indecent behaviour involving a shiny helmet and a bottle of vodka. If you see this lady, do not approach her, simply call 999! - Click Here